Who’s Your Daddy? The Distortion of Spiritual Fatherhood in the Modern Church
spiritual fatherhood gone rogue
In churches worldwide, a new hierarchy has quietly emerged. It doesn’t wear the robes of Rome or the crowns of kings—but it demands just as much reverence. Its leaders are not called “priests” or “bishops,” but rather “Daddy,” “Papa,” “Father of the House,” “Senior Pastor,” and “Spiritual Covering.” They insist they are your gateway to God’s blessing, your source of divine alignment, your covenant connection, and your spiritual protection. Some churches even go so far as to reserve parking spaces labeled “SENIOR PASTOR,” subtly reinforcing a culture of status and entitlement in the church leadership hierarchy… Question them, and you’re accused of rebellion. Leave them, and you’re labeled an orphan spirit.
Welcome to the world of spiritual fatherhood gone rogue.
What began as a biblical metaphor for mentorship and discipleship has been hijacked by modern movements like the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) and the Word of Faith (WOF). In these circles, “spiritual fathers” and “spiritual mothers” aren’t just relational mentors—they’re unquestionable authorities. They demand loyalty, financial tribute, and blind submission under the banner of “honor.”
But is this what the Bible teaches?
In this article, we’ll unmask the distortion of spiritual fatherhood in today’s church culture, examine the true biblical model behind the metaphor, and explore how the idea, if used at all, can be practiced in a way that liberates rather than enslaves. Because in the kingdom of God, only one Father reigns, and His children were never meant to be ruled by religious kings in shepherd’s clothing.
The Biblical Metaphor of Spiritual Fatherhood
Before we can critique the abuse of “spiritual fatherhood” in modern movements, we must first understand what the Bible actually means by the term. Contrary to how it’s often used today—as a title of authority or hierarchical power—the biblical metaphor of spiritual fatherhood is rooted in relationship, spiritual formation, and Gospel-centered mentorship, not control or superiority.
Paul’s Use of the Term
The most notable biblical references to spiritual fatherhood come from the Apostle Paul. Paul referred to himself as a father in the faith, but only in the context of having begotten believers through the preaching of the Gospel and nurturing their spiritual growth.
| Passage | Text | Summary |
|---|---|---|
| 1 Corinthians 4:15 | “For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers; for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel.” | Paul identifies himself as a spiritual father based on his role in leading them to Christ. |
| 1 Timothy 1:2 | “To Timothy, a true son in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord.” | Paul expresses a close, mentoring relationship with Timothy, his spiritual son. |
| Galatians 4:19 | “My little children, for whom I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you,” | Paul’s heart for believers reflects the pain and persistence of a parent longing for spiritual maturity in their children. |
These passages show that Paul’s use of “father” is not about domination or personal elevation, but about spiritual investment in the lives of those he served.
Paul never uses the title “Father” as a permanent label or position of authority. Rather, he uses it as a relational metaphor tied to his Gospel labor.
The Purpose: Not Power, But Formation
Paul’s goal as a spiritual father was never to create dependence on himself, but to see Christ formed in the lives of believers. He expressed deep emotional investment and parental concern, but he also taught that all authority ultimately belongs to Christ.
Moreover, Jesus Himself gave a sobering warning regarding the misuse of religious titles:
“Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven.” (Matthew 23:9, NKJV)
This was not a prohibition against acknowledging physical parents, but a rebuke of religious leaders who sought titles to elevate themselves and lord over others (see Matthew 23:6–12). Jesus taught that all believers are brothers, and only God is to be exalted as “Father” in a spiritual sense.
Theological Insight
Paul’s model shows that spiritual fatherhood is not about titles, territory, or tithes. It is about:
- Gospel-centered discipleship
- Sacrificial service for the sake of others’ growth
- Relational mentorship, not institutional hierarchy
Any system that promotes spiritual fathers as unquestionable authorities, hierarchical gatekeepers, or financial benefactors is already out of step with the biblical pattern…!
The Hijacking of a Metaphor — Abuse in the NAR and WOF Movements
What was meant to be a metaphor for nurturing discipleship has been weaponized in certain modern church movements to establish control, demand loyalty, and manipulate people spiritually, emotionally, and even financially. Nowhere is this distortion more prevalent than in the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) and Word of Faith (WOF) movements.
In these circles, the titles “spiritual father,” “father of the house,” “senior pastor,” and even “spiritual mother” have evolved into instruments of hierarchical dominance rather than humble servanthood.
From Mentor to Monarch: Hierarchical Abuse
In the biblical model, spiritual mentorship is about equipping others to follow Christ. But in the NAR and WOF, “spiritual fathers” have become unquestionable monarchs within their church or ministry structures.
Leaders expect followers—often referred to as “spiritual sons and daughters”—to submit not only to their teachings, but to their opinions, decisions, and vision for the ministry. This culture discourages personal discernment and fosters dependency on the leader’s so-called “anointing” or “covering.”
Key Traits of Hierarchical Abuse
- Authoritarian demands for submission.
- Discouragement of questions, dissent, or personal study.
- Use of fear (e.g., “Don’t touch the Lord’s anointed!”) to silence concern.
- Elevating the leader’s vision or revelation above Scripture.
This model violates the clear teaching of Jesus:
“But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Matthew 23:11–12, NKJV)
And again:
“The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them… But not so among you; on the contrary, he who is greatest among you, let him be as the younger, and he who governs as he who serves.” (Luke 22:25–26, NKJV)
Financial Exploitation and Spiritual Taxation
One of the most troubling trends in the NAR and WOF is the financial abuse that often accompanies spiritual fatherhood. Followers are sometimes taught to “honor the man of God” with monetary gifts, mandatory offerings, or even tithes directed specifically to the “spiritual father.”
In my (the writer of this article) own previous experience in the NAR, “junior” pastors (AKA “spiritual sons”) were required to tithe directly to their spiritual father—a practice that:
- Has no basis in New Testament teaching
- Reinforces a transactional view of spiritual relationships
- Fosters financial enslavement to the “senior” leader
In the early church, giving was directed to the needs of the saints, not to individual leaders as a form of spiritual taxation or tribute (or “honor”) (Acts 4:34-35).
Emotional and Spiritual Manipulation
When authority is unchecked and tied to the leaders being “God’s anointed”, it creates fertile ground for manipulation and abusive control. In the distorted father-son model, spiritual fathers often claim:
- To hear God on behalf of their followers (being “God’s voice” / “god’s counsel” in their lives)
- That leaving their leadership brings spiritual danger (removed from under God’s covering/protection “channeled” through the leader)
- That honor and obedience are tied to blessing and destiny (a special blessing from God rests on those who submit under this “senior” leader, and they themselves will also “move into their God-given” destinies just as this “senior” leader has done)
These tactics are emotionally and spiritually damaging, creating a sense of fear, guilt, and bondage. People may stay in toxic environments out of a distorted loyalty to the leader, fear of curses or withdrawal of God’s favor and blessing, or a belief that they’re breaking covenant if they were to defect.
Yet Paul writes:
“You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.” (1 Corinthians 7:23, NKJV)
And again:
“Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.” (Galatians 5:1, NKJV)
Hallmarks of Abusive “Spiritual Fatherhood” vs. Biblical Mentorship
| ABUSIVE PRACTISE | NAR/WOF DISTORTION | BIBLICAL PATTERN |
|---|---|---|
| Hierarchical Control | Spiritual fathers rule as monarchs with total authority. | “Nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.” (1 Peter 5:3) |
| Financial Exploitation | Followers tithe or give directly to the leader as a spiritual obligation or act of “honor.” | “Let each one give as he purposes in his heart…” (2 Corinthians 9:7) |
| Emotional Manipulation | Obedience in return for favor, blessing, and identity. | “You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.” (1 Corinthians 7:23) |
| Discouragement of Independence | Followers are discouraged from growing beyond their “father.” | “Till we all come… to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:13) |
The Silence on ‘Spiritual Mothers’ in the New Testament
As the modern church increasingly embraces titles such as “spiritual mother,” “mother of the house,” or “first lady”, it’s essential to ask: What does the New Testament say about spiritual motherhood in the Church?
The short answer is: very little—if anything.
Unlike the concept of spiritual fatherhood, which appears metaphorically in Paul’s writings to describe his role as a mentor in the faith, there is no direct biblical support for the concept or title of “spiritual mother” as a position of authority or ecclesiastical hierarchy in the New Testament Church.
Older Women as Examples, Not Authorities
The closest the New Testament comes to speaking of a motherly role in the church is found in Paul’s letter to Titus:
“The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” (Titus 2:3–5, NKJV)
Here, older women are encouraged to teach and model godly behavior to younger women, especially in the context of home, family, and character. But this is a far cry from the hierarchical, title-driven role promoted in many modern churches. These women are not granted spiritual authority over the congregation, nor are they positioned as some kind of “mediators” (or special connection) between God and His people.
The Modern Misuse of “Spiritual Motherhood”
In the NAR and WOF movements, the role of the “spiritual mother” is often either:
- Co-opted by the wife of the senior pastor, who is automatically elevated alongside her husband as “Mother of the House,”
- Or assumed by a woman with a prophetic or pastoral following, who begins to function in “apostolic-style” authority over men and women alike, often outside biblical parameters.
Common Traits of the Abuse
- Expecting honor offerings or tithes “to the woman of God.”
- Being revered above reproach as a source of wisdom or breakthrough.
- Offering emotional counseling, destiny words, or prophetic direction in ways that foster spiritual and emotional dependency on the “mother.”
Yet, Scripture gives us a firm standard:
“And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.” (1 Timothy 2:12, NKJV)
“Let all things be done decently and in order.” (1 Corinthians 14:40, NKJV)
While the application of these verses continues to be debated in some circles, there is no biblical support for women being given a hierarchical position of “spiritual motherhood” over a congregation, or certain members, male or female.
Paul’s Rare Use of Maternal Language (as a Metaphor)
Paul does briefly describe himself (and his ministry team) with motherly imagery:
“But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children.” (1 Thessalonians 2:7, NKJV)
Here again, it is not a title, but a metaphor describing his (their) attitude of gentleness and affection toward the believers. This does not imply an office or position of authority, but rather a quality of loving care in ministry.
“Spiritual Motherhood” in Modern Practice vs. Scripture
| MODERN USE | BIBLICAL REALITY |
|---|---|
| Title of authority (Mother of the House) | No such title or position in the New Testament |
| Partnered hierarchical leadership with “Father of the House” | Church leadership in the New Testament is consistently elder-led and male-led (1 Timothy 3:1–7; Titus 1:5–9) |
| Prophetic “mother figures” wielding authority over men | “I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man…” (1 Timothy 2:12) |
| Revered for emotional/spiritual counsel | Older women may teach younger women to live godly lives (Titus 2:3–5) |
Man-made
While mature women absolutely have a place in the discipleship and care of others, the modern concept of “spiritual mothers” as institutional leaders or vessels of apostolic authority has no New Testament basis. It is a man-made construct, used to mirror the equally abusive title of “spiritual father.”
True spiritual influence does not need a throne or a title—it needs humility, truth, and the Spirit of Christ.
Father Figures or Faithful Servants? A Call to Christlike Leadership
If the Church is to recover from the abuses of distorted spiritual fatherhood, it must return to the biblical model of servant-hearted mentorship, not reinvent new hierarchies under different titles. Whether or not we use the metaphor “spiritual father,” the goal of every leader and mentor in the Body of Christ must be the same: to point people to Jesus, not to ourselves.
True spiritual mentorship should lead to maturity, not manipulation—freedom, not fear—and fellowship, not dependency.
The Way of Christ: Servanthood, Not Superiority
In contrast to the proud and controlling “fathers” of modern church systems, Jesus modeled the complete inversion of worldly leadership:
“But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Matthew 23:11–12, NKJV)
A Christlike leader—whether viewed as a mentor, father-figure, or elder—must be marked by humility, accountability, and a commitment to Scripture. The power they carry is not in a title, but in their ability to lead others closer to Christ through example, sacrifice, and sound doctrine.
“We do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus’ sake.” (2 Corinthians 4:5, NKJV)
Healthy Leadership in the Modern Church: Key Safeguards
To avoid repeating the errors of the NAR and WOF, churches must adopt healthy, biblical leadership practices that reflect the servant heart of Christ and the mutual love of the early church.
1. Prioritize Biblical Plurality and Elder Leadership
The New Testament consistently emphasizes a plurality of elders rather than a single authoritative figurehead.
“For this reason I left you in Crete, that you should set in order the things that are lacking, and appoint elders in every city as I commanded you.” (Titus 1:5, NKJV)
This prevents the concentration of power in the hands of one “father” or “visionary” leader and fosters a culture of shared responsibility and mutual accountability.
2. Encourage Relational Mentorship, Not Dependency
Mature believers should disciple others, but always with the goal of seeing them grow into full maturity in Christ, not cling to their mentor indefinitely.
“And He gave… pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints… till we all come to… the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11–13, NKJV)
Healthy mentorship releases, empowers, and equips—it does not control, silence, or infantilize.
3. Teach Discernment and Direct Access to God
Every believer has the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. No human leader is meant to replace or mediate that relationship.
“But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things… you will abide in Him.” (1 John 2:27, NKJV)
Church leaders are helpers, not intermediaries.
4. Drop the Titles—Embrace the Task
Rather than elevating people with terms like “father of the house” or “mother of the house,” the Church should celebrate humble, faithful laborers, without the pomp, entitlement, and unhealthy reverence.
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” (Philippians 2:3, NKJV)
Let No One Steal Your Sonship
At the heart of the Gospel is this glorious truth: you already have a Father in heaven.
You don’t need a spiritual father to cover you, position you, or mediate your relationship with God. You have been adopted through Christ and sealed by the Holy Spirit.
“And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, ‘Abba, Father!’ Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.” (Galatians 4:6–7, NKJV)
Spiritual leaders can guide, mentor, and encourage—but they must never dominate, demand, or deceive. The true shepherd leads you to the Good Shepherd. The true mentor equips you to walk in truth. The true servant gives their life to build yours—not build a name for themselves.
So, who’s your daddy…?
Let it be the only One worthy of the title: your Father in heaven.
